I thought we was talkin' 'bout haircuts?...

I don't know why He keeps blessing me

Anxiety of an unemployed college grad...

I'll be frank, my post college life has not been what I expected. I'm beginning to become frustrated because I need a job or internship asap, so I can get out of my parents house. I love my parents but now I need my own space. I've had my own apartment in college for the last 4 years and moving back home is trying. As a 23 year old college graduate I need to go on my own and see what I'm made of and stand on my own 2 feet. I appreciate my parents for everything they do but I NEED my independence. Also I need a job to kick start my career; I didn't for to school for 4.5 years just to apply for mediocre ass jobs that I could've gotten with just a high school diploma.

I just have the urge to get out of Austin, I want to meet new people, see new things, eat different foods, admire other cultures. I love being from here but I feel like if I want to chase my dreams I need to leave. I feel stagnant here.  I just feel like there are no avenues for success here with the career path that I want to take.

I don't know my purpose right now.

 Lately, I don't have a physical person to confide that understands how I feel. Few people around me have taken my path (i.e. college). 90% of them got a job straight out of high school and have been working and saving. Right now, I have no physical person to confide in who truly understands how I feel and empathizes with me I talk to God, but sometimes I don't know what he wants me to do. I wish it was as easy as God calling me on the phone and being like "Bro, you need to be patient, I got something coming up for you"...if something like that were possible I wouldn't have any complaints. I just don't know what my purpose is and I'm starting to feel like my degree was worthless because every job I want request experience over education. But the thing is I need to get hired to get experience though. I'm just being impatient, I'm ready to start this exciting and fulfilling life that I want but I'm just at a standstill right now and I'm SO anxious to get out of it.

Jeremiah. 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future...

What the shit...ANT BITES?!?

Sooo me, Bree, Nigel, Nic and Sileaha hit the pool on Saturday. As soon as we get I put my stuff (i.e. shoes, phone, shirt, etc) on the pool chair. As I'm standing there, my feet begin to tingle. I look down and what looked like an entire ant colony covering my feet! I did like any regular person would and swatted them shits and went in the water to get the rest off them off. Not that easy...

I didn't think anything of because I been bitten by ants before and nothing happened. I was cool for the next 15 minutes, all of a sudden I felt the urge to cough. I still wasn't worried about it. Then, out of the blue, I feel my face get hot and swollen. Not knowing what I looked I immediately got out of the pool and went to Nic's house to check my face out. I look in the mirror and I damn near look like fuckin' Craig Mack!!!

I'm talking nose swollen, lip, eyes, basically everything on my face. I popped 2 Benedryl immediately. That's when I start to have a mini panic attack. You gotta understand, my immune system has always been A1, I RARELY get sick, I've never broken a broken, anything. By this time Nigel is driving me back to my house, I can barely breathe, my eyes are swollen shut, I'm itching like crazy. I'm praying to God like "Please don't me die" lol. I get home and all I can do is sit an wait for the Benedryl to take over. That was THE LONGEST 3 hours of my life. 

Everybody that was at the pool came to house. Obviously, I was going through some physical stuff but I was still watching how Bree was acting, considering the circumstances. Now, if she would've dipped out and went home while I was going through this, it would've been a wrap for her. But she stayed though, that's important because most of the other chicks that I've "talked" to before wouldn't have. So she got some points on that one. We'll see how that goes.

After looking up the symptoms, I found out I had an anaphalactic allergic reaction which means the minute amount of venom from the ant bites caused by the release of mediators from certain types of white blood cells triggered either by immunologic or non-immunologic mechanisms. Symptoms typically include generalized hives, itchiness, flushing or swelling of the lips.  Other features may include a runny nose and swelling of the eyelids. After being over 50 times, the venom caused my immune system to overreact, basically. I'm just thankful I'm fine now, my feet are still a little swollen and itchy from the bites but besides that I'm fine. I'm dodging ant for the rest of my life though!!!!

AY! YOU PLAY PENNY PONG?!?

1st Dates

Man I had my first 1st date in like 3 years, it was cool. We went to Dave & Buster's, played video games, hung out out with friends, etc. Nothing too serious, we'll see what happens. Right now I'm just living life while I chase my dreams.

Varsity Jacket

 I need one in my life....especially since it's gettin' cold!