Mental Throw up!

Right now I'm just letting my thoughts roam and just typing whatever I'm so this might come out a little hard 2 follow...

 

 

 

"Its the Boondocks, I swear I'm like Heuy mixed with Riley, Thursday I be tryna save the world and then on Friday I hit the club, hopin' that my dick get rubbed by some phat asses, niggas get to scrappin' then you them gats blastin'" -j.cole

SOOOOO...the NFL Draft just past a few days ago and I got a chance 2 witness 224 young men experience a life changing event...and i got 2 thinking "this could be ME next year"....now a lotta people at my school think I'm not because I'm so in other things besides football....and 2 be honest I can understand their opinion because many a time I've discussed how much burned out i am on football and how I'd rather be doing something else so i can change the world and how I just want the free education...

I know football isn't my meal ticket in life but if i can make it 4 a couple years I can use the money 2 do something productive in life rather than being known as a life long athlete...it's SO much more 2 me than that...sometimes it frustrates me when ppl see as "Zeus, that big nigga that plays football"...I would rather be known as "Zach, the intellectual" or "Zach, the one that's always fly" or "Zach, that different guy" or "Zach, the writer" or"Zach, the guy that discovering himself" or "Zach, the guy that still wants 2 change the world"or even "Zach, the guy with the blog"

So I went back home this weekend and got chance 2 be with my family and just recharge and on Saturday I went 2 the infamous 6th street...and its just old 2 me...i feel like whether i was in Austin or San Angelo the night still would've been the same...I'm just bored with it...I'd rather have a movie night and cool out...but i don't really do that 'cause i don't really fuck with anybody at my school like that lately...I'm not lonely or anything but I just been lazy when it comes 2 socializing with people as of late....if u saw my facebook you'd think i was a boring ass person but once you get under the layer of bravado and "steez" that is Zeus you can really see me 4 what I am, a cheap, kind-hearted, loyal, moody, expressive, ever-evolving person.

Man where are the females at???? 4 the 1st time in life i don't have someone I can knock down or cool with on the regular...2 honest I'm used 2 having multiple females checkin' 4 me...it's gonna take some gettin' used 'cause since I hit high school I've always had chicks tellin' me how fine I am and how nice I am, etc, and over the years I kinda bought into it....I started thinkin' that because I'm an attractive, well-dressed, athletic, articulate, educated, black man that the world and everyone in it is just supposed 2 fall at my feet based off those facts alone and it doesn't always work that way

Me and some of my teammates are starting an organization 4 black male athletes called GQ: Gentleman of Quality. We've tried many a time but I feel about this go'round because we got a group of 16 people that appear to be very committed as whole 2 getting this group up and running and serving the purpose that it was created 4: getting young african american men 2 serve in the community and become a group that can successfully provide an example of what a young black man should be in college...

I'm might blog like this more often...y'all might not understand this...but it was very cleansing 2 write exactly what I was feeling at this exact point in time...I gotta lot more 2 say but I gotta class in a few minutes....