It troubles me that I even have to write about this, but last night the subject of women getting abused by men came up. Thankfully, it hasn’t been anything life threatening or extremely brutal (not yet at least), but it’s troubling 2 me nonetheless.
This situation was brought 2 my attention last night when an old flame and I were exchanging pleasantries over the phone. At one point I asked how she was doing and she nonchalantly replied, “Oh, my baby's daddy punched me in the eye.”
I immediately replyed back 2 find out what led this supposed “man” 2 lay hands on her. Her response only infuriated me further. 4 the sake of clarity I'll call her "Tanya". Apparently Tanya and this person were driving in her car. She was doing him a favor by taking him 2 wherever it was he needed 2 go, but he didn’t like the way she was driving or the route she was taking and a small tiff ensued. Next thing U know Tanya felt a blow to right side of her face. He claimed it was an accident and he was flailing his hands in frustration and just happened to make contact with her face, but neither Tanya nor I believed that 4 a minute. Needless 2 say, Tanya dropped the gentleman off, went home 2 take pictures of her slightly swollen eye and filed a police report. Case pending…
At the end of the day, though, there’s no scenario that could play out in my mind where a grown ass “man” would be justified in balling up his fist and hurling it towards a woman’s face, chest, back or any other part of her body. None, except 4 his life being in eminent danger. But even then it would have 2 be an extreme case 4 it 2 sit well with me. If someone is pissing U off 2 the point where you’re on the brink of physical violence, it’s best 2 just remove yourself from the situation and person until U can cool off. But not everyone has that much sense or strength of will.
Now 2 pose the question of the rightness or wrongness of hitting a woman would be a moot point. Nah, what I’m more concerned with is how does this behavior develop in the 1st place? What makes a “man” get 2 a point where he wants 2 lay hands on a woman? Is this learned behavior? If so, how and where did his father or his father’s father get it from? In some sick way does this make a weak man feel stronger by showing his dominance over someone else? It’s all sickening 2 me.
Not 2 find fault with the victims, but I also wonder what compels a woman 2 stay with someone that’s physically abusive? From the outside looking in, it would seem like that 1 time would be enough. That at the 1st sign of abuse you’d realize this ain’t for U and you’d run 4 the hills. Or have these women also learned that this behavior is acceptable from watching their own parents fight? I’m far from being a psychologist, but perhaps some of these women have low self-esteem and believe they deserve this or can’t do any better. Whatever the case, that’s another load of BS that I can’t bare 2 deal with.
Have I ever wanted 2 lay hands on a woman? Of course, as I’m sure we’ve all been there at some point where our significant other or close friend has made U want to ring their neck, but I know better. I was raised better. I understand that at the end of the day hitting a woman (or anyone else 4 that matter) won’t make the situation any better. It won’t prove my point. It won’t make me feel better. And it most definitely won’t make me feel like a man. What makes me feel like a man is putting smiles on a woman’s face not bruises.
Let’s keep it 100% real, though, domestic abuse isn’t just physical or limited 2 only women. Emotional abuse hurts just as bad, and although it’s rarely reported, there are plenty of men that get beat on by women, too.
This situation was brought 2 my attention last night when an old flame and I were exchanging pleasantries over the phone. At one point I asked how she was doing and she nonchalantly replied, “Oh, my baby's daddy punched me in the eye.”
I immediately replyed back 2 find out what led this supposed “man” 2 lay hands on her. Her response only infuriated me further. 4 the sake of clarity I'll call her "Tanya". Apparently Tanya and this person were driving in her car. She was doing him a favor by taking him 2 wherever it was he needed 2 go, but he didn’t like the way she was driving or the route she was taking and a small tiff ensued. Next thing U know Tanya felt a blow to right side of her face. He claimed it was an accident and he was flailing his hands in frustration and just happened to make contact with her face, but neither Tanya nor I believed that 4 a minute. Needless 2 say, Tanya dropped the gentleman off, went home 2 take pictures of her slightly swollen eye and filed a police report. Case pending…
At the end of the day, though, there’s no scenario that could play out in my mind where a grown ass “man” would be justified in balling up his fist and hurling it towards a woman’s face, chest, back or any other part of her body. None, except 4 his life being in eminent danger. But even then it would have 2 be an extreme case 4 it 2 sit well with me. If someone is pissing U off 2 the point where you’re on the brink of physical violence, it’s best 2 just remove yourself from the situation and person until U can cool off. But not everyone has that much sense or strength of will.
Now 2 pose the question of the rightness or wrongness of hitting a woman would be a moot point. Nah, what I’m more concerned with is how does this behavior develop in the 1st place? What makes a “man” get 2 a point where he wants 2 lay hands on a woman? Is this learned behavior? If so, how and where did his father or his father’s father get it from? In some sick way does this make a weak man feel stronger by showing his dominance over someone else? It’s all sickening 2 me.
Not 2 find fault with the victims, but I also wonder what compels a woman 2 stay with someone that’s physically abusive? From the outside looking in, it would seem like that 1 time would be enough. That at the 1st sign of abuse you’d realize this ain’t for U and you’d run 4 the hills. Or have these women also learned that this behavior is acceptable from watching their own parents fight? I’m far from being a psychologist, but perhaps some of these women have low self-esteem and believe they deserve this or can’t do any better. Whatever the case, that’s another load of BS that I can’t bare 2 deal with.
Have I ever wanted 2 lay hands on a woman? Of course, as I’m sure we’ve all been there at some point where our significant other or close friend has made U want to ring their neck, but I know better. I was raised better. I understand that at the end of the day hitting a woman (or anyone else 4 that matter) won’t make the situation any better. It won’t prove my point. It won’t make me feel better. And it most definitely won’t make me feel like a man. What makes me feel like a man is putting smiles on a woman’s face not bruises.
Let’s keep it 100% real, though, domestic abuse isn’t just physical or limited 2 only women. Emotional abuse hurts just as bad, and although it’s rarely reported, there are plenty of men that get beat on by women, too.
Emotional and verbal abuse takes longer to heal. i hope i never get into that situation. When men lack to the necessary skills to communicate they rely on the physical.
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