Warning: This post might come off mean or apethetic but AH WELL...
So earlier I accidently so my ex when she broughht over Buster....I say accidently because I wanted to meet her outside her building and play with him while she was inside. Anyways she ended up bringing him and her new new rommate and chilling at my apartment for a minute. When she first said it I was like "Fuck, I don't wanna go through this "missing her" shit again, but a funny thing happened...*drum roll please* NOTHING!
Absolutely nothing, no feelings, no urges, nothing. Usually, when she would be around me before I would be turned on but that didnt even happen. I didn't even have the urge to touch or hug her like before. She still sexy and everything but that didn't make me wanna do her constantly like before. She really wasn't giving too good of a conversation either and seemed to not be putting too much effort into listen to what I had to say and towards then end of the visit I started thinking "THIS IS WHAT I BEEN TRIPPING OVER FOR THE PAST 2 MONTHS?!?" Now I can finally understand how she fell out of love with me so abruptly 'cause the same thing JUST happened to me. I'm not in love with her and I don't want to have a romantic relationship with her. I don't have a desire to be her man anymore....it would be completely and utterly pointless and stupid to try 'cause there's NO connection, at all.
All I could think about was what my plans were down the road and her not being apart of them and no longer being bothered by that anymore. Its like I had on rose-colored glasses and them hoes got snatched off and I saw things for how they really were/are. Now with all that being said, I'll probably always miss what we once had because the romantic love and emotional intimacy I HAD with her during our relationship was unlike anything I've ever experienced and probably wont again until I find the love of my life years from now. C'mon bro, I planned to propose to this chick at graduation and already started paying for a ring so of course I loved her at one point in time. But to put it plainly, we've outgrown each other. We were in a relationship that was doomed from the start 'cause we're absolutely incompatable. I finally saw that and I realized WE WASTED YEARS trying to prove otherwise. Nobody benifited from this waste of time, money, and emotion.
I've got my own life to live, goals to accomplish, people to see, places to go and so does she. An "US" could've never realistically existed for an extended amount of time, and it never did. When you really look at it, throughout our almost 3 year "thing", we had never been together for more than a few months at a time before some crazy shit popped off.
When I think about it maybe this wasn't an accident. Maybe God made that event occur so I could be hit with the epiphany that I no longer desire her romantically, emotionally, sexually, or spritually.
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